A common narrative is that, when falling in love, it is the man who tries to comfort an upset woman. This is, of course, a stereotype, but let’s turn it on its head. What if a man is in a bad mood? Can a woman comfort him? How?
Recently a friend told me about an experience with her boyfriend. She said that one day when she got off work, she saw her boyfriend, clearly unhappy, sitting in the living room with a gloomy expression.
So she asked him, “Honey, what’s the matter with you?” After asking several times, her boyfriend didn’t speak. She became anxious and urged him, “What’s wrong with you!”
To her surprise, her boyfriend exploded, yelling, “Can you just leave me alone?” She was confused and felt full of grievances, leading to a big argument with her boyfriend. The man was already in a bad mood, but now he was even more upset, and eventually stormed out of the room.
She didn’t understand why, when she was trying to comfort him, the situation ended up like this. She wanted to know if there was a better way to comfort a man who is in a bad mood.
01 Consider leave him alone
Like all advice, it depends on the person. Of course. But one option is to leave him alone. You may come to realize that the more you try to comfort and persuade the other person, the more they may feel upset and even angrier. What is the reason?
It may be due to something known as “confrontational psychology”.
This is where a person feels instructed or forced by the other party, as if their freedom is being taken away, and they lose the motivation to do anything.
In an intimate relationship, if a man is in a low mood, he may want to tell you about it after some time to calm down, but if you constantly try to get him to talk, he may develop a confrontational mentality.
Sometimes when a person hears the words “You should do this”, they simply shut down.
Additionally, men may also be going through a “cave period” or a time when they need to calm down and process their emotions. In this case, it is often better to give him some time and space to think deeply, rather than constantly asking him to talk.
02 Empathy
Another option is to show empathy. If he is willing to talk to you about his problems and pressure, you can decide to show understanding and empathy.
For example, if the reason for his bad mood is that things aren’t going well at work, you could show him that you support him.
Maybe he says to you something like, “It’s really abominable. I have contributed to that project, but I was not there when the bonus was paid out, and then the supervisor told me that my contribution was not enough. The bonus is only given to the top three.”
At this time, it may be helpful to stand with him and try to understand his dismay. You could also add physical gestures such as holding his hand tightly, leaning his head on your shoulder, etc.
If you are not in a relationship and someone comes to you with their troubles, you can still show care and concern. Perhaps bring up some happy topics and then check in with them in a few days to see if they are feeling better. Constantly checking up on someone may be counterproductive.
03 Care
Another way to comfort him is to show care and give him positive attention. This doesn’t mean constantly hovering over him, but rather letting him know that you care about his emotions.
For example, if he has been under a lot of work pressure, you could give him a massage or cook his favorite meal. You could also offer to listen to him and provide emotional support. It’s important to remember that men, like women, need emotional support and care, and showing him that you care can go a long way in comforting him.
04 Positive energy
When someone is frustrated and sad and surrounded by negative emotions, they may become more pessimistic and depressed. Another option might be to show your love and good hope for life, so that he feels that there are indeed many beautiful things in life.
For example, discuss more positive topics with him, such as describing some beautiful visions about your future, talking about some beautiful things that happened to people around you, or taking him out for a walk to relax…
In short, use your positive sunshine to warm his mood.
In addition, at this time, in the face of his bad emotions and behaviors, we should try our best to be tolerant and patient. Also, control your emotions first, so that the other person can also be calm.
It’s important to remember that men, like women, need emotional support and care, and showing him that you care can go a long way in comforting him.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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